Life Outside of CBD
Can We Change Lanes?
Happy Sunday, yall! The past few weeks, I’ve delivered a few practical CBD application pieces to y'all and don't worry, there are many more to come. However, I believe it’s incredibly important for us to have honest conversations addressing topics that might currently be themes in our head, regardless of agendas for other topics that may be more relative. Unfortunately, you the reader can't necessarily keep up with your side of the conversation, but don't worry, I can do enough talking for the both of us for now. A big theme that’s been trending with me lately is what it means to be investing in the right tribe. I think now more than ever, we all need to be reminded of the importance of establishing these connections.
Even the Cavemen Were Doing It
Since the dawn of time, humans have been forming groups and partnerships with other humans in order to enhance their chances for survival. Families, factions, tribes, nations- all of these are groups of people formed in efforts to increase the members’ chances of making it from one day to the next. It’s clear that even now, we are still wired to live a healthier, more fulfilling life and go further in general when we are surrounded by a pack of people who are watching our backs, checking our blindspots, and cheering us on when it’s hard to keep going. People crave meaningful interactions with other people. It’s why cults, gangs, and fundamentalist religion are actually successful lots of times- successful in that they give their constituents a purpose to subscribe to which has the effect of unity, identity, and a social bond of some kind. Most people who join a cult didn't wake up that day thinking, “today seems like a beautiful day to form an alliance with a group of unstable radicals”. No- they were triggered by their inherent desire for a sense of purpose which had them looking for any kind of tribe to belong to, the cult just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Is Your Tribe Also You?
Naturally, the sort of people in your tribe are going to shape you and fundamentally alter the direction you’re heading in life. Depending on who you choose to surround yourself with, this could be either very good or very bad for you. Often people see the bad effects of having been a part of a tribe of some kind and decide to go it alone rather than risking another bad outcome. This was actually me. My tribe was more along the lines of a religious group that I was born into. Growing up in that sort of tribe can have one of two outcomes. Either you, from a very young age, subscribe wholly to the social constructs within the tribe and work the rest of your life to further the common cause, or you see the other side, the limitations, the dependencies, and that while having a sense of purpose is healthy, sometimes you can't identify with the cause. I knew that I fell into the latter category pretty early on, but still spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that I would settle into a routine and/or find something about the cause to inspire me. When neither of these things happened, I knew that I had no choice but to forge my own path. Starting fresh without a tribe or support system can be extremely hard. If I’m being completely honest, it was completely awful and I even went back to the old tribe once, thinking I had made a terrible mistake by leaving everything I had ever known in search of a new purpose. What is it they say- “nothing worth having comes easy”? I definitely had to learn that lesson firsthand. Once I had some distance and time between myself and the tribe I broke ties with, things started to get a little easier. The closest thing I can compare it to would be a breakup. It hurts like hell at first and nothing feels right for a while, but day by day, you stop remembering it as vividly and it becomes easier and easier to find joy in the discovery of new things and experiences.
Intimidating or Inspiring?
Parting ways with my tribe essentially meant parting ways with my family, both my blood family and the family I had found within the church tribe. As you might imagine, going from a huge circle to no circle at all can really put things into perspective. Like how much sense it makes for humans to have a circle in the first place. My natural inclination was to seek out a new circle as soon as possible. It was at this point that I learned a lot by trial and error about choosing the right people for your circle. Choosing people who are slothful and unmotivated and maybe not the kindest in general will inevitably lead to you developing more tendencies to be slothful, unmotivated, and not all that kind. Identifying these people and extricating them from your inner circle is imperative to seeing any kind of growth and personal development in yourself. Eventually, I began to make it a point to begin nurturing relationships with people who were strong and intimidating who I knew would challenge me to be more than what I limited myself to be. These people are, for the most part, the people who make up my tribe even now.
Vulnerability is Not Weakness
Looking back, I can't say that I would have changed any part of the painful and grueling process that led to me figuring out the right people I needed to have around, but it certainly would have been nice to hear something like this so I could know that it was going to get better and I would eventually have my tribe again. I learned that it’s possible to exist as the lone wolf archetype, but it’s infinitely more empowering to take the risk and be vulnerable with other people in efforts to make some sort of connection. In choosing to be vulnerable, you are of course exposing yourself to a world of heartbreak, but you’re also incrementally building your own strengths by allowing others to see your weaknesses. You will be let down and hurt by people who you try to connect with. You will also learn and grow from those experiences and gain the most incredible tribe from those who reached back eagerly when you extended your own hand. To all of you who are by proxy of reading this blog part of the Heartland Hemp Tribe, I’m so glad that you’re a part of this and I can't wait for all of you to bear witness to all of the excitement that we have heading your way- I’m counting down the days! Stay tuned and take care of your tribe y’all!